At some point in our lives we will go through the ordeal of losing a loved one and coming to terms with the loss. This process is known as grieving, and is a natural reaction consisting of intense personal emotion and reflection.
Grief is not simple; it consists of many different feelings that tend to follow a pattern, known as the grieving process. Of course every person is different, and will cope in their own way; the following is merely a broad summary.
AngerAnger is a perfectly natural reaction in the weeks after a loss and is connected to guilt. Resentment towards doctors, other family members and yourself stems from the feelings that the death could have been prevented or made to be easier. As a strong emotional outlet, anger can contribute to the coping process and release any feelings that have been suppressed or reserved during the time of the funeral.
DepressionThis is a period of sadness and reflection. By now, the reality of the loss would have hit, and all previous emotions of guilt and anger fade away to reveal the true gravity of loss. Feelings of helplessness and loneliness are a natural part of this stage, and although it is tempting to sit alone and brood, this is the best time to talk with family and friends and begin working towards recovery.
Adjustment and recoveryAs time passes, you being to learn how to cope without your loved one. The feelings of sadness and depression begin to fade, and your own life comes back into focus. This paves the way forward to moving on and accepting what has happened.
Acceptance and HopeAfter the rollercoaster of emotions associated with grief, the individual finds themselves with a sense of pride and self worth to be able to navigate through such a difficult time. Acceptance does not mean instant happiness; it means that you are now able to move forward with your life and plan for the future. The memory of your loved one will not have the same effect as before: Instead of sadness and pain, you remember the good times and the lessons learned from your time with them. Gradually, you will stop living from day to day, and look forward to the future.
For more information and advice on how to deal with a recent death, the following links may prove helpful.
Cruse Bereavement Care Cruse Helpline for Bereaved Children
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